Wednesday, 30 September 2009

True Blue.

Today I feel philosophical. Today I feel anxious. Today I feel, perhaps more than usual, that I hope this is true

Something unattainable is now within reach. I do not fear it but I am cautious.

The future has always seemed to me a planned path, a fixed destination. Of late this no longer appears true. It is exciting and liberating.
Yet also unnerving.
My firm held truths are being blown away as I step out from the shelter in which I have hitherto spent my life.
The breeze blows away my tangled cobwebs.
The breeze brings with it the freshness of change. As of Autumn. Or of Spring.
I seem to see a different person in the mirror every day.
I know I may not always feel like this.
Old habits die hard. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Yet I still have hope.
Consistency is the last refuge of the the unimaginative. I try hard to live by this.
I will let the breeze blow through me.
Change is unstoppable. Time waits for no man.

I know this is true.

Monday, 28 September 2009

The Diagnosis and The Dress.

Afternoon dear readers.

I must say I had quite the loveliest weekend which involved (in no particular order) shopping, an art exhibition, watching one of my favourite films (Little Black Book), my brother and his girlfriend coming down from Norwich to visit, macaroons (more on which below), badminton, gardening and jogging.

Ok, so back to you macaroons. Sure you're enticing with your pretty colours and your interesting layers and nice, sugary smell. But boy are you sweet. I could only manage half of mine (granted I did pick a huge one in the shop but that's not the point) and I looove sweet things. Sadly, the end result after I had nibbled my way through a fair amount of said pistachio macaroon looked like I had sneezed onto the plate which is never an appetising look it has to be said.

Verdict? Love them for their contrary-to-logic-regarding-colours-which-can-safely-be-eaten look but bit too sweet for my sweet tooth. We live and learn people.

For the record, I am willing to turn this into a 'what I ate and what I thought of it' blog so if you have any suggestions as to what you would like me to try feel free to ask.

On Saturday I bought this dress. I tried The Dress on and felt truly wonderful. Why don't all my clothes make me feel like this? Like a grown up. Like a glamorous elegant woman instead of the geeky, clumsy, goofy girl I normally feel like. Somehow I know when I actually wear The Dress out (instead of just prancing about my bedroom in it) something real special is going to happen.

Had a weird 'epiphany' moment when watching Little Black Book at the weekend (so much Carly Simon has that effect on me) which I shall attempt to formulate into coherent sentences then discuss later in the week if that's OK with you?

Until next time.


Friday, 25 September 2009

Shrinking violet

As much as I am enjoying this job (and the money it brings) I am beginning to feel a little too much like I did when I left school or just started college - not quite comfortable in my own skin, not completely sure of myself. At university and on my post grad I grew into myself and 'blossomed' into the person who had been hiding before. I know everyone puts on a mask and there are very few people who I am completely at ease with but I am sure this is true for most people.

However, I feel myself shrinking into my shell like a shy snail. Biting my lip. Fading into the background.

By the time I left the educational sphere I was doing a postgraduate course and had reached the 'top of the ladder' as it were. At 22 I was a lot older than most those below me. But now I have entered the world of work I am at the bottom of a new ladder and feel incredibly young. I like to consider myself (possibly over flatteringly?) relatively well educated in literature, music, current affairs etc but I suddenly feel very inexperienced and uneducated.

In addition to these new unwanted feelings I had a day of embarrassing/annoying moments yesterday -

Exhibit A. People at work having an intelligent discussion on the war in Afghanistan and despite the fact I have opinions on this, I just completely clammed up and sat looking gormless.
Exhibit B. After happily wolfing down a delicious almond croissant in the morning I looked in the mirror at the end of the day only to realise I had had a small piece of said almond croissant in my hair All Day.
Exhibit C. After said croissantgate, I was late to catch the bus and ended up doing a strange bended knee, half walk half run scuttling movement to make sure I caught the bus. I can safely say crazy scuttly forward crab running is Not attractive.
Exhibit D. After being in lovely hot shower for approximately 5 seconds I managed to get shampoo in my eye so spent the rest of a now unenjoyable shower with my eye closed, rubbing my eye on my towel which then was covered in mascara and spent the whole evening with a red bloodshot eye assuring my sister that I would definitely go blind from this.

I rest my case Your Honour.

However, just so you don't sit back in your chair and sigh, thinking to yourself "wow she sure is turning grumpy. Where is all the giggling and happiness, pretty pictures and silliness gone?" here are some nicer things that have happened to me:

1. I had Sushi today for the first time (pretty yummy)
2. I sat outside St. Pauls Cathedral at lunch where there happened to be an ABBA tribute band playing (currently humming Waterloo to myself).
3. I bought some pistachio macaroons today which I have never tried before (hence the pretty picture) from 'Paul' which is the most spiffing patisserie ever - a 'Maison de qualite' in their own words - where I spent a lot of my hard earned cash on delectible goodies (let you know on Mon how the macaroons go down).
4. I get to pick up my new glasses tomorrow.

Hoping to finally take my camera out for a spin this weekend and promise I will try to upload some photos over the next week or so.

Enjoy the weekend y'all

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Something strange in the neighbourhood...

Hmm, me thinks there may be ghosts or at least gremlins (and not the cute Gizmo gremlin from that movie) in my blog. Apparently no-one (including myself) has looked at my blog in like 48 hours and this despite the fact I have Another Follower.

Curiouser and curiouser ...

Unfortunately for me I do have a slightly addictive personality and as such once people actually started visiting this blog and leaving comments, I began to obssessively check this blog at every opportunity (i.e. very frequently). I feel as though my 'supply' has been taken away.

It would be fair to imagine me wringing my hands calling out in a shrill voice to anyone who will listen - Just give me another fix, just one more. It's not like I'm addicted. I could give it up whenever I wanted!!!

Well well I shall have to go cold turkey and carry on despite any technical hiccoughs (in a very British stiff upper lip way I like to imagine).

If there is anyone out there the below is for you (available to BUY here!). It's so sweet I feel quite giggly just looking at it!

Monday, 21 September 2009

label lust and man on bus

How amazing is the above Alexander Mcqueen bag? It's funky, it's pretty, it's a little bit rebellious. I have no idea where I would use it (or how I would find the money to buy it) but it is seriously cool. The local shops is completely an appropriate place to use this right?

I also have a bit of a thing for Barbour which the chilly weather of late has reignited. I really want one of their coats like this jacket but also found this bag on the site too. Both are deliciously lovely but rather pricey

On to something completely different'.... further to my previous post on people I have encountered on public transport, I saw the strangest man this morning. He looked to me as if he had just stepped out of a book or an odd dream. He was about 55, tall and skinny with a red tie, black waistcoat and a dusty looking old fashioned black evening jacket with tails and slim fitting black trousers. Once on the bus he put on a pair of large black sunglasses which he wore on top of his normal glasses. I noticed his nails were painted black and he was smoking a cigarette completely oblivious to the scowl he was receiving from the woman sitting next to him. Every so often he would call out things like "Thats £400,000 down the drain". He had an air about him of someone who had once been impressive and well off but who had fallen on hard times.

I wish I had had my camera on me in one way but in another I was glad I didn't as it was kind of sad. Perhaps I will include him in one of my books I am writing and preserve him that way?

Hope you all had a happy weekend and for those of you in England enjoyed the sudden appearance of hot weather.

Until next time my dears


Friday, 18 September 2009


Can I just say I feel a leeetle bit giddy right now.

And no it's not because it's National Speak Like a Pirate day tomorrow (Arrr, so it be, Arrr).

No, no nor is it because I got paid again today (I know, Again!).

And, no, wrong again, it's not because I saw a girl wearing a mac with small poodles on it this morning (Poodles hee hee).

It is in fact because people are looking at this blog and commenting on it. I have four, count 'em, FOUR followers now! And comments on stuff what I wrote and everyfink.

This. Feels. Great.

I'm giving you all a big virtual bear hug right now (i'm pretty tall so it'll be a good one) *squeeze*. Can you feel it? *squeeeeeze*

This is for you, you sure do deserve it.

Oh and the above cuuuute book is available at Etsy here.

Have a super weekend people. You rock.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Glasses love.

My frequent forays onto public transport of late has led to me encountering some pretty ... well, diverse people.

One day I had a pleasant conversation with an old couple on the perils of sitting backwards whilst travelling (trains ok, buses never).

Another day I sat next to a girl who, when she opened her handbag, smelt like plasticine (not unpleasantly oddly enough).

Last week I brushed a mans crotch with my hand (it was Not like I was groping I'll have you know, and this was definitely not some kind of weird feely touchy bus.)

Oh and yesterday I stood too close for comfort next to a woman who smelt like rotten flowers. Don't know if she had been rolling about in them or whether you can actually buy perfume like that?

But I digress from the main purpose of my post. On Friday I sat opposite a remarkably pretty girl wearing these glasses. I can pretty much safely say I have never been in love with eye wear before (unless you count an affection for Harry Potter's optical aids), but now, now I want these glasses really REALLY bad. I do however get a sneaking suspicion I would look like the below picture rather than pretty train girl.

It was raining torentially yesterday. I think London looks even lovlier in the rain if that's possible. The grey sky is to me the best backdrop for this city and seems to increase the saturation of all the colours.

The sudden downpour also led to floury of cute umbrellas going up and a parade of enviable macs. One girl was wearing a Burbery mac - swoon!

Today I got given a peach, saw a man in a bowler hat and sat by a fountain for lunch. Good times.


Friday, 11 September 2009

Pay Day

On Friday I Got Paid. Yup that's right I got money going into my account not just out.
I felt so decadent drawing £40 out of my bank account and nearly skipped away from the cash machine.
Feel like I've got loads to talk about on here at the moment and need a proper sit down to organise my thoughts and pictures and musings. Soooo, sit tight and remeber good things come to those who wait right? OK? Good.
Happy Monday lovely people

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

The things I have seen.

I've been spending a lot of time on trains at the moment - most the time I feel like a piece of cattle penned in by towering businessmen in varying degrees of pinstripe. However, I have also had a delightful time gazing out of windows and dreaming of the English countryside

On Monday I saw a stormy iron grey sky turn the pale yellow of cut corn into an expanse of deep honey gold and the trees into a lush wall of emerald.

Yesterday I saw the sky turn the pale blue of duck eggs overhead whilst the horizon was the sharp yellow of lemons and the fresh tilled fields below like a swathe of soft brown velvet.

Edward Steichan's pictures go some way to explaining in picture form how the countryside makes me feel. He captures the world in a way I see in my head but know I could never get my camera to portray.

I so want to bathe in that pond don't you?

Sunday, 6 September 2009

Neglect and apologies

I have shamefully neglected my dear blog over the past week and for that I apologise. My only excuse is that I have been working. Yes, that's right I have A Job. The temporary position that an agency have been dangling tantalizingly before me for the past couple of weeks finally came through and I am working at a large law firm in London until the end of the month.

I am enjoying the experience of working in London very much. The atmosphere is in London is unlike any other I know of. The grand buildings interspersed with curious Harry Potter like structures, the stream of iconic black cabs and red buses and the hustle and bustle of the streets all amounts to something exciting and special and the feeling you are in the middle of something great.

I hope to take a few pictures whilst I am working in this city which I shall share with you.

I have just finished reading 'The Last Templar' by Raymond Khoury - I always have an interest in books on the Knights Templar. The book was quite compelling but not brilliantly written, and a little predictable in places. I plan to read The Idiot next and will let you know of my thinkings on it.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Another day, another job hunt.

A few months ago I was sure I would be employed by the end of August. However, as is often the case with these strange feelings of certainty one has about the future, the end of August has come and gone and I am still without a job. I can't believe it will be too much longer before I get a job - if it is, then Christmas presents will consist primarily of hand knitted scarfs (I can only knit in straight lines) and copious amounts of paper mache with glitter.

I'm trying to view my time without work as an opportunity to pursue my other interests which have had to take a definite back seat whilst I have been studying. This is one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place. I personally enjoy blogs which are, without sounding too corny, 'from the heart', and not just how perfect life is. Hopefully this blog will be like that too - things which make me smile and I enjoy coupled with my reality.

I enjoyed the long weekend just gone. Had a mini splurge on DVD purchasing - Yes Man (very very funny although not a particularly accurate representation of the book), Little Blackbook (one of my favourites - possibly for it's abundance of Carly Simon songs) and The Mystic Pizza (how could I resist a film with that name I ask you?).

I also accidentally bought the American InStyle magazine at the weekend. It was interesting to see how different American magazines are to English ones. Came across the phrase "Jonesing it" - never heard of this before. Can only assume it's to do with keeping up with the Joneses? The mysteries of the English language across the pond eh.

Plus my raspberry plant continues to blossom and I hope it wont be too long before I get some fruit.

I leave you with a little gift which made me laugh, hopefully you will too

Here you go

Lots more giggle inducing Beartato here

Have a nice day